In a surprise decision taken Friday, the troublesome ‘bots’ squatting in the Kremlin have contacted holiday firm Thomas Cook and booked an easy pay nano holiday in Micronesia.

The Kremlin press secretary poo-pooed the suggestion any of their ‘bots’ took a rest from their incessant 24/7/365 meandering around western assets and criminal propaganda outlets.
“We’re too busy and on constant alert,” replied the spokesperson, when questioned. “With all the shit they’re throwing at us would you decide on a vacation, even if it came with free toilet supplies?”

Gavin Williamson, Defence Secretary to the United Kingdom’s terror regime of Treason Mayhem and Chief Propagandist left his seat on the Parliamentary toilet in the Houses of Parliament to briefly comment.

The presser he chose consisted of a multitude of turds scraped off the news desks of thereutersshit-hits-fan
BBC, Sky and an assorted collection of so called international news organisations garnered by Reuters. Reuters the global misinformation machine preferred by tyrannical and out of control hegemonists refused to comment when asked about the toilet paper still attached to the Defence Secretary’s trousers.

trump-loo-paperIn other developments the US mid term acting President, Donut Crumpet, as he is adoringly referred to in bakery circles, waltzed onto his private jet to whirl around the skies looking important for a few hours with toilet paper still attached to his shoe.

Sources close to Highly Likely News have indicated the amount of shit emanating from the upper echelons of the Western leaders means a constant state of awareness has to be in operation when any official high or low travels more than 6 feet from a static position. The likelihood of shit hitting the fan, the identified arse or the whole government propaganda machine has given rise to many more shares taken out by government ministers and members of Congress in toilet manufacturers.



We endeavoured to interview a representative from Kimberley Clark, the corporate owner of Andrex toilet paper and were redirected to an informed Labrador pup who gave us a comment – “Woof”.

We are awaiting clarification while said puppy representative leaves a calling card on our reporter’s lap.

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