BREAKING! President-Elect Shoeon Anyfoot Set To Be Inaugurated in USA

Exciting as these times are we at Highly Likely News are proud to bring huge news of new leaders, changing situations around the world and instantly created leaders where no leaders existed before.

In the USA utterly out of the blue the government of Fiji supported by the Kuril Islands, Kurdistan, a motley crew of Pacific Islands and the Republic of Tradonia has proposed and backed a totally unknown hobo, Shoeon Anyfoot as the new President elect of the Undisputed Super A*Hole (USA) entity. A vagrant of few vestments he will be traveling to Wisconsin as soon as he has taken a shower and had a good scrub, for a tutorial in investiture and Purposeful Presidency.

The Federal Reserve Bank, a privately owned foreign entity presently squatting in Washington DC and other squats around the Barko Mad States is said to have confiscated any provisions Shoeon Anyfoot was alleged to have resource to.

Across the pond we also have news coming in that the sparsely United Queendom has given orders for all 30 of the Special Security Forces promoted and aligned to the ill named Integrity Initiative, a wholly owned shared subsidiary of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) and Blackwater Military Supplies (BMS) are to be placed on full alert.

alertThe possibility of reciprocal action to place an unknown Welsh woman, Rhonda Bout through the door of 10 Downing Street as acting Premier has garnered vast support from a dulled and ever more exhausted population who have given both Sky News and the BBC a huge raspberry and thumbs down in their futile media promotion of an ever increasing stagnating pond of Brexit, now fully frozen over.

Rhonda, in an interview with HL News spoke of her excitement and elation at being allowed into the pantry of 10 Downing Street. She said:

“It will be at last my hour to produce Taffy cakes for the nation, where my greatest hero David Lloyd George never quite made that cut! If only Marie Antoinette had given the peasants Taffy cakes her head would still be on her decomposing body!”

rhonda-old
Rhonda Bout

Rhonda, now in her eighties will be seen as the youngest Welsh national to invade England in a bloodless coup this side of Caernarfon.

In celebration the Welsh rugby team, before its Six Nations match against France this weekend will hold a minute or three rendering of Cwm Rhondda (Bread of Heaven) in support of sanity flowing into Westminster and a brave attempt at gaining ever more copious teary eyed followers.

Across La Manche (Channel to all English peasants) the French continue to bring their weekly tutorial in how to dump a useless, cockroach engorging, tax grabbing elitist schoolboy. His granny queen, the unnamed pusher from behind blonde Brigitte, was captured recently by HL News snappers garnering even more of a shoe collection as she stepped off her yacht in the unnamed German port of Bremen.macron-shoes

In Germany, almost on cue the Rothschild imposed daughter of a dodgy illicit affair is nearing the end of her reign of almost uneventful tenure. A  position threatened to be up for grabs by her handlers. This inverted coup by the para psychotic Kazarian group, long known to fiddle with every conceivably important world government, will shortly declare to the world its tenure as Shit Stirrers #1 vacated and available to the highest bidder.

Both Moscow and Beijing have wisely stayed on the sidelines watching a West eat itself silly as they and selected partners make preparations and huge resourced financial gain for a far saner and egalitarian world. Their economic gains in spite of Western sanctions are awakening a world beaten down through austerity that there is a better way forward for all once their own elected idiots are disposed of.

Futility and humour stand side by side as new laws currently on the statute books of all nations in demise await their final approval in outlawing humour. The engagement  in meaningful talks with futility is highly likey to quicken the collective demise of said participating nations of collective lunacy. A stunned multi cultural population, drifting along within their respective borders not knowing which side of their collective bed they should exit, remind the sane of rabbits in front of oncoming headlights.

All in all a round trip in normality is noted from this august independent media outlet to be doing what it does best – continue the absurd to the last breath of pointlessness.

OUR ADVICE: Invest in snowploughs, crypto comments and a light hearted toss given with little hope of return. Oh, and eat healthy!

Editor’s note: Comments made here are entirely exonerated and agreed by the Highly Likely Press Organisation. All images used are for educational and informational purposes only. 

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