No, dear readers we are not
self flagellating, sorry, I meant congratulating ourselves here at Highly Likely News, we merely have been made aware that the ol’ team of Stitch-It Frame-It are on the rampage again.
Honestly you would have thought that Treason May’s stupendous own goal with Skripal would have shown the Western clowns the error of their ridiculous highly likely ways. But no! I-ran proved too soft a target not to miss.
We witness The Orange One jumping up and down, his side kick Pompous shouting foul at the ancient civilisation, formerly known as Mesopotamia, as it stands tall crying “Go Ahead, Make my Day, soulless ones!” This unnerving response demands reinforcements, so our illustrious Bullshitters, led by said Orange One, send their one floating paper Water Mammoth and tell their little cupboard friends in Europe, it is “…highly likely these troublemakers are the villains who targeted our head chopper friends’ oil fields“.
As all good puppets do, the tin pot ‘passed their prime’ muppets jump to attention telling the world it is, indeed, highly likely the Mercan bullshit propaganda is correct. Once again evidence free, confetti filled corroboration is jettisoned into the foray. The UK, France and Germany all sing like canaries a tune so rancid, so unbelievable, they believe their own discords. Uncle BiBi, almost ousted from the arse trap he has commanded for years, screams “I told ya so!”, swinging a blank A3 board awaiting filling with childish diagrammatic nukes’ factories and rag headed maniacs.
As if he had not got himself into enough trouble with teacher back home already, the Orange twin, complete with blond mop, screams out in unison with the Frog Macaroni and Angel Merky: ““It is clear to us that Iran bears responsibility for this attack. There is no other plausible explanation,”
Their joint statement on Monday, after meeting on the sidelines of the UN General Assembly in New York, fell flatter than a flat bagel on 5th Avenue. If Bor-ass felt this might save him from the impending caning he would get from the Head Mistress Lady Hale, he was in for a rude shock to his arrogant self importance.
We can confidently predict it will be highly likely this two month old dopey PM will be recalled to the factory for final downcycling. Final acknowledgement that such an aberration has little or no recycling usefulness left to resurrect.
His sole supporter across the pond faces his own highly likely outcome, as the soap opera of Democrat, Neo-Liberal clowns still believe the mileage, now running on empty, dressed as the barely credible Impeachment Episode rehash will make the necessary denouement. As much as this sorry saga has run and run and run on all channels, including the toilet, a final one last Hurrah! will be imagined, disguised as the “Killer Blow”.
Meanwhile back in former Mesopotamia, a group of wise ones build more readiness and a growing economy, with help from the Sane Team out East and North East. The Head Choppers, in their gingham picnic headgear continue to wet their beds at night knowing full well the gold encrusted plastic sheets beneath them will never serve to save them from ultimate annihilation. Houthis howl hilariously. Lebanese lebenstraum reigns supreme and the Cuckoos in Palestine begin to see the writing on the wall they built to keep out the bothersome, semitic hoards.
Highly Likely, as an offensive form ultimately reveals itself to be the most pristine Karmic weapon of self destruction.
You can almost hear, on a cloudless night, the ululations wafting across the deserts of Iran, as they simultaneously crack against the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, shooting onwards through the Brandenburg Gate and scoring a direct hit on Capitol Hill. The eons old message delivers itself, no thanks to social media:
“Bring it On, Suckers, this Cradle of Civilisation is Ready to Teach You Ignorant Kids Another Lesson, Once Again”