Moscow

BREAKING! President-Elect Shoeon Anyfoot Set To Be Inaugurated in USA

Exciting as these times are we at Highly Likely News are proud to bring huge news of new leaders, changing situations around the world and instantly created leaders where no leaders existed before.

In the USA utterly out of the blue the government of Fiji supported by the Kuril Islands, Kurdistan, a motley crew of Pacific Islands and the Republic of Tradonia has proposed and backed a totally unknown hobo, Shoeon Anyfoot as the new President elect of the Undisputed Super A*Hole (USA) entity. A vagrant of few vestments he will be traveling to Wisconsin as soon as he has taken a shower and had a good scrub, for a tutorial in investiture and Purposeful Presidency.

The Federal Reserve Bank, a privately owned foreign entity presently squatting in Washington DC and other squats around the Barko Mad States is said to have confiscated any provisions Shoeon Anyfoot was alleged to have resource to.

Across the pond we also have news coming in that the sparsely United Queendom has given orders for all 30 of the Special Security Forces promoted and aligned to the ill named Integrity Initiative, a wholly owned shared subsidiary of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) and Blackwater Military Supplies (BMS) are to be placed on full alert.

alertThe possibility of reciprocal action to place an unknown Welsh woman, Rhonda Bout through the door of 10 Downing Street as acting Premier has garnered vast support from a dulled and ever more exhausted population who have given both Sky News and the BBC a huge raspberry and thumbs down in their futile media promotion of an ever increasing stagnating pond of Brexit, now fully frozen over.

Rhonda, in an interview with HL News spoke of her excitement and elation at being allowed into the pantry of 10 Downing Street. She said:

“It will be at last my hour to produce Taffy cakes for the nation, where my greatest hero David Lloyd George never quite made that cut! If only Marie Antoinette had given the peasants Taffy cakes her head would still be on her decomposing body!”

rhonda-old

Rhonda Bout

Rhonda, now in her eighties will be seen as the youngest Welsh national to invade England in a bloodless coup this side of Caernarfon.

In celebration the Welsh rugby team, before its Six Nations match against France this weekend will hold a minute or three rendering of Cwm Rhondda (Bread of Heaven) in support of sanity flowing into Westminster and a brave attempt at gaining ever more copious teary eyed followers.

Across La Manche (Channel to all English peasants) the French continue to bring their weekly tutorial in how to dump a useless, cockroach engorging, tax grabbing elitist schoolboy. His granny queen, the unnamed pusher from behind blonde Brigitte, was captured recently by HL News snappers garnering even more of a shoe collection as she stepped off her yacht in the unnamed German port of Bremen.macron-shoes

In Germany, almost on cue the Rothschild imposed daughter of a dodgy illicit affair is nearing the end of her reign of almost uneventful tenure. A  position threatened to be up for grabs by her handlers. This inverted coup by the para psychotic Kazarian group, long known to fiddle with every conceivably important world government, will shortly declare to the world its tenure as Shit Stirrers #1 vacated and available to the highest bidder.

Both Moscow and Beijing have wisely stayed on the sidelines watching a West eat itself silly as they and selected partners make preparations and huge resourced financial gain for a far saner and egalitarian world. Their economic gains in spite of Western sanctions are awakening a world beaten down through austerity that there is a better way forward for all once their own elected idiots are disposed of.

Futility and humour stand side by side as new laws currently on the statute books of all nations in demise await their final approval in outlawing humour. The engagement  in meaningful talks with futility is highly likey to quicken the collective demise of said participating nations of collective lunacy. A stunned multi cultural population, drifting along within their respective borders not knowing which side of their collective bed they should exit, remind the sane of rabbits in front of oncoming headlights.

All in all a round trip in normality is noted from this august independent media outlet to be doing what it does best – continue the absurd to the last breath of pointlessness.

OUR ADVICE: Invest in snowploughs, crypto comments and a light hearted toss given with little hope of return. Oh, and eat healthy!

Editor’s note: Comments made here are entirely exonerated and agreed by the Highly Likely Press Organisation. All images used are for educational and informational purposes only. 

US Pot Disguised as Kettle Calls Everyone Else Black

One thing most people get pissed at is when the school bully stomps around telling everyone else how big, great and omnipotent he is. There are always a few impressed by this grandstanding, usually the neutered and enfeebled. There comes a time when someone, usually a smaller yet highly intelligent individual calls time and the bully’s bluff.

When that bully is a nation state pretending to be the all powerful policeman and emperor of the world we enter a playground that has the potential to wipe out humanity or wipe out the arrogance, hubris and downright pretentious behaviour of the bully and his butt.

The US has today absolutely nothing, as a nation state, by way of any convincing morality, ethics or wish to respect international law. Like its own fantasy breastfed its children, the Wild West full of cowboys slaughtering the Indians and reclaiming their sovereign rights, it invades, interferes and harasses independent sovereign states with the vastest war chest imaginable. Its concomitant intelligence in foreign affairs is the total reverse of its chest size.

Texas_Governor_Rick_Perry_speaking_at_the_Values_Voter_Summit_in_October_2011In Moscow this week we have the spectacle of the US Energy Secretary, Rick Perry spouting forth a vile truth and open description of the true American character. In front of his Russian counterpart and the world media he stated:

We expect the Iranian government to abide by what we consider a civilized activity

Unfortunately for him and his country’s leaders the rest of the world, at least the sane rest, know precisely the quality and content of American civility. It is ugly at best and rank evil at next best. He then has the temerity, one expects nothing less from those placing themselves on pedestals above everyone, to say:

The message to the Iranian government is clear: if you cannot … participate as a reasonable citizen, there will be sanctions that will cost you…

The jaw dropping arrogance needs to be heard to be believed. Perry then added:

“the United States is in a position today to send a message to countries that do not participate in a civilized way that they will be punished.”

The saving grace with all such talk is they demonstrate how enfeebled, how weak and terminally ill this empire has become. It does nothing to cure the situation however it does waken a few more to the real virus we have in our midst.

Describing Saudi Arabia – one of the US major allies in the Middle East and Iran’s long-time arch-rival in the region – as:

very supportive of the activities we are involved in”

while  finding Tehran’s behavior “unacceptable.” leaves no doubt in any mind as to where the humanitarian heart of America lies, if it exists at all. That Perry announces these conceits in Moscow is akin to Hitler announcing a new wave of social aid at a bar mitzvah.

While this grandstanding carries on there are a few thousand illegal US military tenants in the deserts of Syria loudly proclaiming their right to break international law with impunity. Having taken supper with their allies Al Qaeda and allied ‘FSA’ forces known as Maghawir al Thawra and the rest of the al Tanf criminal terrorists partners, they expect both Syria and Russia to lay off bombing them to hell.

USartillery-gun-cutoutColonel Sean Ryan, a US military spokesman described the operations conducted with these terrorists, supposedly who the US is meant to be fighting, as “a show of force,” showing the Russians ands sovereign Syrian army just how they will be met when they try to take back what is rightly theirs.

We feel they will be the ones with no recollection of that short journey to hell they will be blasted into.

The razor’s edge Moscow and Damascus have to tread in order not to excite a global conflict from these efforts demands as cool a head as you might find bare-headed in a Siberian winter – incisive!

The difference between the Russian mindset and game plan and the American one is total chalk and cheese. On one side a lunatic psychopathic crazy with absolutely no comprehension or care for its actions and reactions against a centred, master chess player so adept and battle trained in any climate and condition. One has the patience required of a master, the other the petulance of a spoiled child rampant of an overdose of self inflicted drugs with no idea as to the repercussive consequences it has unleashed.

smaug_hobbit_3It may not end happily for one or all however the end result will be the final desolation of SmaugUSA.

Many await the subjection of a vital dose of reality. The State of Israel, the goading, appropriating cowards behind so much of this war filled horror will by its own sense of self superiority fall crashing into the deserts of a land illegally possessed. As for Twerp Turkey, a slithering double-faced actor in this play, it may go down in history as the spark igniting a world war through its devilish dervish dances, however it will be one of the first to receive the blowback it rightly deserves. This part of history is real.

The recent Tehran Accord with Russia, Iran and Turkey unable to come to an agreement turns out to be a clever chess move by Russia to feign weakness of the triumvirate.

The UK, France and Germany in their stuttering, farting follow up vehicle merely add to the noxious gasses emitted by the carcass of a dying empire and will like all dross, flotsam and jetsam be washed up on the shores of irrelevance when the tsunami retreats.

Let the games begin!