In exciting and groundbreaking economic news, President Donald Trump has taken the offer of Xi JinPing, China’s President, and accepted a tariff free replica of the Great Wall of China.
In an unprecedented tweet from deep within the White House, Trump congratulated the Chinese president for his savvy business decision to relax all tariffs on wall building.
The new wall is already under construction and it is believed from the Canadian border on the West Coast the first few hundred miles of the new wall are curving their way down to San Fransisco and beyond to the Mexican border.
A spokesperson from the Chinese Cultural Association pointed out that in crossing the fault lines along the West Coast assured an ongoing arrangement whereby China is contracted to rebuild any earthquake damaged parts.
In answer to questions from an unusually inquisitive press, who demanded whether this was an American venture or Chinese, he said: “The President of the USA has always had very close relations with our leader and has always been prepared, at least in private, to suck Fung Chow when instructed by Xi.”
In a cooperative effort to show how great the American nation is, last Sunday a newly formed group ‘Runners for the Wall‘ were out in force giving their new wall a heavy beating to allay fears of shoddy workmanship.
In a rare call for unity the rest of the world has with one voice signed off this plan as the best from the Administration’s miserable record so far. Stonemasons from Scotland and Salisbury, bridge builders from San Fransisco, Cardiff and Tokyo have been the first to submit their credentials to help swiftly complete the project before the upcoming 2020 elections in the States.
Further down the coast the local population have come in their thousands to admire the construction ongoing along the Golden Gate Bridge. Trump in his inauguration of this particular part of the ‘Round US Wall’ said he was particularly proud of the American engineering skills, showing the world US infrastructure was the best in the world.
“We are Great! Even our walls defy and exceed the beauty of the Great Wall of China. This American effort will stand for 10,000 years!“, Trump exhorted.
The Chinese engineering group, nearby were seen to almost die laughing on the other side of the bridge.
Russian President, Vladimir Putin, who has kept a deservedly astute low profile as the project continues, sniggered to a closed audience press conference remarking:
“We always love it when the American Government exceed their overextension to the point of revealing themselves to be the fools they have cultivated over so many decades. We honestly feel embarrassed and pity for the American people who have taken this in hook, line and sinker. Our hearts go out to them, the simple population.”
By comparison over on the Eastern seaboard the wall around New York is looking to be running into a little local difficulty. A spokesperson for the Port Authority of New York’s main unions told Highly Likely News that Trump had yet to file a payment for the extra bricks needed and until that was forthcoming they would down tools and hods and await new bricks.
In a recent, unannounced visit to the Western Wall, Trump looked over the handiwork his Chinese counterparts had done enabling the Seattle section to be finished ahead of time.
Without omitting honouring the great instruction and aid he has continued to pour forth in the direction of his masters, Trump, alongside his son-in-law, Israeli intelligence asset Jared Kushner, found himself at the next section of the wall receiving a note and invoice from the Head of The United States of Israel.
“We can only acknowledge and serve those whose aims are so much greater than ours” Trump was heard to admit to close Israeli security aides, having taken the silver pieces from the wall cavity.
It is to be hoped that on the completion of the USA Wall of Encirclement, any of the few Americans who previously travelled outside America will either leave for good or be confined as will the rest of the population to divine isolation, unable to interfere anywhere in the world except within their own country.
As of writing it has been noted Hawaii has resigned its statehood and separated from the Union, as a wall spanning the Pacific was found inconvenient and impossible to implement by anyone.
A world famous authority on incredible dicks reveals the folly of the Trump Wall….