(Humour Spoiler for all too dumb to recognise)

In a totally unprovoked attack on Christian worshippers in several major cathedrals in the UK, police and military soldiers earlier today raided and terrorised Christians going about their sacred devotions.

The use of overarching force, tear gas, rubber bullets and batons made sure many injuries were perpetrated on those wishing to merely exercise their human rights of worship.

A spokesperson for the Government regime, when asked why this sort of injustice had taken place in the peaceful boroughs of the capital and other counties, remarked that worshippers were perceived as a threat to the national security of the regime. and thus action was demanded.

How long held rights of simple worship became a threat to the state is an ongoing mystery. One bystander, asked what they thought of this heavy handed approach commented: “They just march in here, disrespect anyone’s rights to worship and drag many off under arrest on spurious charges of disorder.”

International reaction is hard to gauge, as its silence is deafening.

An Israeli embassy staff member was heard to mention that this sort ofd action is supported and condoned by the State of Israel.

“It is our policy to sever any rights of any Goyim, Arab and especially Palestinian from going about their daily lives and having any standing as human beings in the Global Zionist community”

A British opposition Labour Party member of Parliament agreed with the policy of the State of Israel, for fear of getting bad press, if found to be objecting to continuous perpetration of criminal actions on human rights and other criminal actions.

The unidentified MP said:

“We have in this country an implied right to worship. Each person, no matter what culture, creed or colour has an inalienable right to worship, yet when seen to be a threat to governance, in the enactment of free will it is only right that armed forces be present and exercise containment of any such practice deemed a threat.”

When asked whether peaceful worship was abused she replied, “It is the policy of the Labour Party to follow Likkud guidelines to the letter, as British interpretation of human rights are far too liberal.”

A Conservative Party gathering near by was seen to urge the military, around Westminster Abbey to tighten their grip on the situation and the Prime Minister Boris Johnson urged disused water cannons be extensively used on the innocent.

Tory MP for Sodding Ongar ranted loudly in front of cooperating BiBiC cameras:

“People only earn their freedoms by zero hour, 86 hour a week work schedules. Anything else is slacking. As for worship, they should aspire to those like myself who have a chapel on our extensive estates or just be banned from praying.”

A paid member of the public ran blindly at the MP shouting Allah Akbar, (wielding a standard issue kitchen knife, wearing an MOD fake bomb jacket) as he had been instructed to do. He was was promptly, on cue, arrested for the cameras and Government policy.

Mossad advisors to the Government urged a harder crack down, which could well be implemented over the coming days.

UPDATE: Our reporter, since filing this article has disappeared from public view and is alleged to have been renditioned to Diego Garcia. We are investigating and will bring you news as it becomes available

REAL THOUGHT: If you were worshipping at the Al-Aqsa Mosque and police and military invaded your space, would you feel mightily hissed off and angry? It happens every Friday and more for the Palestinians and the West could not give a flying ****